I see there are many who are new to the shortbus, and I welcome you earnestly. I am a published fiction writer, not a journalist. This is my scrap-board. Currently, this story is a warped, but realistic view of AFAN’s wonderful Black and White Party 2011. Three postings back is an introduction and pre-party commentary. Two posts back is about the bus ride to the Fashion Show Mall, and the last post was about the one-plus mile walk from the FSM to the Cosmopolitan Resort. Mind you, the temperature for the day was 108*F.
We’d made it to the Cosmopolitan in one piece. My wife and I had never been there. Just like on the bus, we were out of our element. We were dressed quite fine for the party that was coming, but we were not properly attired for the casino. We were not the only fish out of water; many of our like-partiers had arrived–only not as sweaty and haggard as we.
After a quick stop in the restroom to freshen up, it was time to find C-Jane’s friend. Since C-Jane and I are strangers in this strange land, it often feels like we have been abandoned here on the island of Las Vegas. As silent proof of this fact we have only one friend who lives locally. I shall call our friend ‘Friday’ even though she is not a native to Las Vegas. If you don’t get why, that is okay, not many people read Daniel Defoe anymore.
If you do get it, I applaud you for knowing something that isn’t on TV.
We’d never been to the Cosmo before, and it is a huge casino. We were to meet ‘Friday’ at the front lobby, but what way in this place is front? We found Friday, and then together we went up to will call on the fourth floor. It was a little difficult getting around the hotel. AFAN had plenty of people to hold signs and to guide us, but one person either gave us bad directions or we didn’t listen correctly. Either is equally likely. But after walking in circles on the wrong floor, we finally found the way to the party.
C-Jane was the star photographer for the evening, she took all the pics for the night. This one is a good pic. This was the welcoming committee, this is Piper Champagne.
I saw the girl in the martini glass, and thought she was very pretty. I also thought, “God, I’d hate her job.” How long is she expected to sit in that giant Martini Glass? Sure, she is smiling — or is it a grimace of pain, her poor knees. Hmm, well with that said, at least she isn’t the dirty Mickey Mouse pan-handling on the strip over by the Bellagio.
See the two women in the gold dresses. Of course you do. They looked 10-feet tall in real life, but they stood on stools under their dresses. I’m just saying they may have tricked some people, but not me. Nope, not really 10-feet tall.
Two very handsome and shirtless men were handing out champagne. C-Jane looks like a photographer for Playgirl, click- click- click goes the shutter, “Stop and pout you dirty boy! – gimme more pouting – good, and good!”
But look at this pic. I said, “Take a picture of Hamster Girl.” And look at this shoddy pic by comparison to all the others. Can you say, ‘passive aggressive?’ Hamster Girl did yoga in the ball on the pool. It was very cool to watch — well, I thought so at least. Oh well.
Tilt your head for Kettle One. See, free booze. My cup was filled plenty o’ times here at this wonderful presentation. Maybe a couple times too many.
Like this pic? Giant Ice Penis. Take notice, C-Jane’s sexy new boyfriend wears a big smile in the pic.
Rum, not mother’s milk flowed freely from these fine breasts here. “Thank God,” I said. Two years ago they had a hollow ice-cock that they poured the rum through. I’m pretty open-minded, but the drip-drip-drip made me a little nervous. Clap on, clap off …
So, as you can see, it was very wise we took the bus and then walked a mile in the heat. Clearly, we got our drink on. Next post – “Big J’s drunken stupor.”