26
Jul
12

Benefits to being Far-Sighted

While C-Jane is in Washington DC hanging out with Harry Reid, Elton John and ex-Prez George W, I’ve been here, banging my head on my desk, frustrated by book sales (or lack there-of.) I’ve decided that I’ll eat a bottle of sleeping pills and wash it down with Gentleman Jack before seeking another job at any hospital. When my head began to hurt, I gave Samson the Cat a double portion of food and drove to California to see Cuz Jo and RJ.

RJ had two tickets to see Steel Panther at the House of Blues in Hollywood, California. Since Cuz Jo hates heavy metal and since our other friend (who will remain unmentioned) has been taken hostage and denied his own person (in other words, his wife wouldn’t let him come), I was next in line for the winning ticket.

Here is a little about Steel Panther. They are an 80’s cover band that dresses as if it were 1986. They are a mock-band, much like Spinal Tap in the way they are making fun of the glam-rock scene. They make mockery beautiful. They frequently play here in Las Vegas, but tickets here are $30 instead of $20. So, RJ and I went to Hollywood, and not Las Vegas to see them.

I hadn’t been to Hollywood since the early nineties. Nothing has really changed. The 101 highway is still designed as if it is 1965. A Teeny-tiny highway with one very quick exit onto Sunset Blvd. The town did look less seedy than I remembered, but I live in Las Vegas now. Remember Motley Crue? “Girls-Girls-Girls” yup, they are still there. Sadly, RJ and I didn’t have any money for all that.

picture courtesy of photobucket.com

We found House of Blues fairly easily, but watch out, it is a dark corner surrounded by lit up signposts (where the Marlboro Man used to stand tall) and across the street is a comedy club that was bustlin’ with activity. We got there late, missed the first act and arrived in time to watch half of the second. We are old, and this was a general admission sort of show. That means there were no seats for sitting, standing room only.

However, we like being by the bar, and although there was not a place to sit, at least we had a place to set our drinks. There were balcony tables, and a few tables scattered around the main floor. They were for VIPs, but I bet we could have rented one once I told them how important my friends were. (I’m nobody, just an author.)

Steel Panther took the stage after a long wait between sets. They kicked off with a very good rendition of “Up All Night” by Slaughter. Slaughter is a Las Vegas born band – so is Steel Panther. Once they were done, the guitarist says, “You rock San Diego—this is why we love to play here in San Diego…” And the singer says, “Dude, you’re a moron, this is L.A.” (They were clever with how they played the crowd.)

During one song, they pulled several girls up onto stage from the audience. (I believe this part of the act was staged.) They taunted the girls, and dared them to show off their boobs. Most of them wouldn’t, but then the last girl did. Here is the benefit to being far-sighted. I, from way in the back, got a wonderful peek at nice young boobies. She was then motivated to jumping around on stage with the twins bouncing along with her. They were quite nice. I’d guessed them as belonging to a 22-year old by how they behaved—I’m reflecting on the boobies. Big-J smiles.

There were a few celebrities at the show. Two drummers actually; one from the old band Extreme, the other played drums for John Mellencamp. John Mellencamp’s drummer came onstage and performed the second to last song, ‘You Really Got Me’ the Van Halen version, not the original by The Kinks. They ended the show with their big hit, ‘Death to All but Metal’ with which I shall leave you the link to their video two lines down. It is a funny video, and you can see a small sample of what mayhem we got to witness at House of Blues.

Steel Panther Video (not for the faint of heart.)

(After all I’d said in my last post, I did not bring my gun to the show. Thinking back on last week’s shooting spree I felt it would be in very bad taste to pack heat at a cool social gathering. Having gone to the show, I realize now that there was nothing that could have been done to stop the evil that took place in Colorado. Still, it pisses me off when scumbags don’t get shot for their sinister actions. The one nice thing I have to say about Las Vegas is the cops here would have turned James Holmes into Swiss cheese had he pulled that stunt in this city.)

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2 Responses to “Benefits to being Far-Sighted”


  1. July 26, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    you make me snort with laughter, BigJ. Sorry we couldn’t see you while you were out here. It makes me sad that now we go to these shows that used to seem SO amazingly cool and we are sad because there are no seats for sitting, and that there are so many people crowded in, and I wonder to myself, “self, I wonder what the maximum occupancy of this room is. And where is the nearest emergency exit in case this thing goes badly.” Sigh, such is our plight as the aged.

  2. 2 Cuz Jo
    July 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

    I laugh too…two handed belly laugh. However, I do not hate metal and I was denied all the appropriate information to make an educated decision regarding Steel Panther!! I too could have shown my boobies!! I would have done it right next to you and it would have been okay since you are far sighted you wouldnt have seen a thing. Just sayin!


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